When you're this high up, I guess the only place to go now is all the way down.

i guess i always knew this would be coming. i was just waiting for it, could see and feel it lurking in the shadows, waiting for its chance to pounce. all the fun i've been having for the past 3 weeks must stop someday. and i guess that day is now.

i thought i really liked this person i just got to know a bit better lately. but just as i used someone else as a rebound (although i never thought it at that time), i was the rebound this time around. and it hurts. knowing that being told that he just wants to remain friends and next time it could've turned out differently cos i'm a nice girl. aren't those the ultimate lines in rejection? i think they are. and deep down i probably know so.

so here i am again, here to pick up the pieces i never knew were there. sigh.

somedays i'm a superbtch, up to my old tricks but it won't last forever...next day i'm a supergirl out to save the world and it keeps getting better!

i've just had the best birthday ever!! from a billion fb messages to smses to emails. i've never ever felt so loved. i guess it is true what they say, what you experience always starts with a single step. you have to take the initiative.

i feel great. esp cos i went back to the office for lunch to catch up with a few colleagues, whom i've come to regard as good friends. we were having lunch in the kitchen, my back was to the pantry or whatever it's called. was deep in conversation with my friend when my other colleague brought round two cute birthday cakes!! with a lit candle on it! so adorable! one was a mocha profiterole cake whilst the other was a mango sago pudding plus jelly on top. super yum!

i tell you, i was so frikkin 'kam tung' ok. i think that made my day :) thank you K and D- you know who you are. totally totally unexpected surprise.

back out at the client, the team got me and another girl a birthday cake cos our birhtdays were just one day apart. although that's the norm out at this particular client, i still felt as though it was great to be acknowledged.

lovely lovely day :D

thought i was gonna go for dinner/drinks with my friends but due to some miscommunication i ended up cooking chicken skewers with couscous and avocado for dinner. it was yummy though! i was reluctant to stay at home, so i dragged another friend straight from his work to go out for a late dinner. we both had beers. yum, my fave :)

all in all, it was a good day. i think it all started from the great weekend i had. i love it. life is defn looking up woot!

perks of being single.

i guess one of it would be an insane amount of freedom. you have no one to answer to but yourself. you're allowed to do whatever without being restricted.

i experienced that yesterday when i went out and could just go anywhere and do anything i wanted compared to some friends who had trouble even getting out of the house as their partners weren't happy to let them go out. i mean, it's pretty common if you're in a relationship. sometimes i wonder why people burden themselves with one.

but of course, there are plenty of good things that happen when you're in a relationship.

i guess atm, i'm just happy to be single :)

crazy Friday.

ok this is what i love the most about Fridays. you can do jack sht at work and think about beer o' clock. i usually spend the whole day in anticipation of friday night drinks (fnd).

it's the best! first week back at work and i've had an awesome friday. headed to chi after coming in from springvale (yeah my client was there so i was out there for a week! good thing that's over ), had dinner in ling nam as a friend was treating us since he just received his first pay (so proud of him!), headed back to chi for a short stop and then charltons to kill some time. AND then went to manchuria where i had the nicest sweet beer i've had (ok, i've only ever had that sweet beer). tasted like rose. try it, timmermanns or sth like that.

headed back home and contemplated whether to go to valve for icekreme. thought over it for like 5 seconds, changed and went. oh boy, that's where my night realllly started. if i thought i had a great night before, this one defn tops it.

started the night off with agwa shots (not as pleasant tasting as i remember them to be), chased that with a tequila shot and had jaegerbombs as well as whiskey mixed in with green tea. and some beer. add all that up and you have the recipe for action and disaster!!

got to know a few people, turned down a request where this guy asked for my number, told another i'd prefer contact via fb instead of phone andddddddd..made out with my friend's friend. oh dear, don't think i should say anymore.

went to bed at 6am and woke up at 9.30 cos it was so damn bloody bright!! wth.

love to stay and chat, but have to go for breakkie!

till the next one :) xoxo

glad the weekend's almost here.

i've been waiting for friday since sunday, now that it's friday i'm sure my great expectations will be unmet. i want to do after-work drinks and have fun, forget about the many trivial worries of life. but surely, something will come in the way of that and i'll have just one drink and go for dinner. should i hope for the night to take me somewhere so that i'd never have to go home?

on saturday i might date the city of melbourne, bring my camera out to play. plenty of graffiti waiting to be photographed. street art. buildings. laneways. cracks in cobblestone walkways. cafes. if i could pocket everything including the skyline, i would. paint it in a picture keep it in my memory.

contemplative.

i'm feeling contemplative. been tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. thoughts running through my mind a million at a time.

why do i feel so at peace today?
where has the inner turmoil gone?
will it return?
when is my crash and burn?
i can only ask these questions now, but wait for the answers. who knows when i might get them, or even if at all?

i decided to let go of something today. bury my immaturity in the past and pray that it never resurfaces.

maybe it's because i realise i'm turning 25 next week and i really want to act my age. grow up a lil, some but not all. no, not yet. life is not about being serious and old. life is about living and creating new adventures.

i wonder where i will go from here? will i like it, or will i not? will i be able to cope and juggle the many permutations of the outcome of life? how can i be so calm. what if i'm making the biggest mistake of my life. here is where i know the answer. you cannot force things. there's no point in doing that because sooner or later things will disintegrate like scraps falling away, floating to where it's unable to be caught, where it disappears into moonlight, swallowed up by the vacuum of night.

this is jt. and here goes my story.